2. Keep it light.
At the same time, it can be easy to get down on yourself if you are shy; it might seem like everyone else is doing better socially than you. At times like these, it is helpful to consider some of the benefits or advantages of being shy. These might not be things that immediately come to mind, but they are true of many shy people. This list of 10 good things about being shy might also be helpful if you are overcoming SAD and still struggling with shy tendencies.
Many shy people are modest; you are the last one to announce your accomplishments or let the world know what is amazing about you. Although too much modesty can eat away at self-esteem, a healthy dose is considered an attractive trait by many. At the same time, you need to be careful not to cross the line from modesty to self-deprecation. Here are five tips to make modesty work for you:. If you are shy or socially anxious you probably tend to look before you leap. This trait can be helpful when it comes to many life decisions.
How to be Your Own Hero: Journey into the Enneagram
Thinking carefully and planning before taking action is important for many of life's hurdles including. Supporting this theory, a study comparing the behavior of human children and that of apes showed that human children displayed more behavior in line with shyness than did the apes they were less likely to approach something new. This suggests that we as humans may have developed our ability to learn before leaping through this leaning toward shyness.
At the same time, this tendency to think long and hard before you take action should be moderated. If fear of taking a chance is holding you back, sometimes it can be better to take a leap and trust that things will work out or that you can handle it if they don't. When shyness is not extreme, it can make you appear more approachable to others. Shyness, and the modesty and self-effacing nature that go with it, are rarely threatening to others and may allow people to feel more comfortable around you.
In other words, you don't have an air of superiority that makes it hard to talk with you. Too much shyness can make you seem aloof or standoffish. If this is a problem for you, try something simple like smiling or saying "hi" to people to show that you're not stuck-up, just shy.
Shy people can sometimes have a calming effect on those who are more high strung. Having a role gives you a sense of purpose, and guidelines for how you should behave. Most people in any setting want to feel liked and accepted. I ask my clients to give themselves the role of making other people feel the way they would like to feel. When you judge yourself harshly, you are more likely to assume that others will judge you in the same way. The best way to defeat the critic is to have an even stronger ally on your side—an inner voice that acts as your own best friend.
Start noticing the good things about yourself and learn to "talk back" to your inner critic. When the critic starts to blame you for being fearful, remember that there is not a single person who enjoys rejection, yet somehow we all manage to survive it. When your inner critic starts to tell you that no one will ever like you, remind yourself that you liking you is what matters most.
For more on how to silence your inner critic , click here. Every social situation you put yourself in is a mini social-skills workout. The more you do it, the better you get.
8 Ways to Help the Shy Child
If your shyness is more severe there are effective treatments for social anxiety that include group and individual therapies, and in some cases medication. Henderson, Lynne. New Harbinger Publications, I always thought I was shy because my agressive and dominate friend always talked over me. Now I realize I am not shy. I just dont' like hanging out with her! Planning a conversation is a terrible idea for me as my issue is overthinking myself into paralysis.
Sometimes you need to not think and just do. I think shyness everybody facing, some more, some less. I had a big problem when I was about 6 or 7 that I been to counselor, and was taking a medicines. Now I am completely different person. How I did that? Simply, just facing these fears anyway, and every day doing small baby steps towards my openness. To be shy does not help you, or those around you, at all.
So, start doing small steps to overcome it, you will feel much better. Jennice Vilhauer, Ph. Stop feeling confused and overwhelmed; this exercise will help you gain clarity. Their best friends adore their advice and their problem solving skills. Therefore, they need to find friends that are just as attentive to their needs, making the Virgo feel accepted and less obligated to prove something. Virgos are usually at the center of life long friendships, for they value and get very close to those they harmonize with.
A Virgo respects anyone who is very well put together. They admire those who have something going for themselves, and who have a plan for their lives.
A Virgo cannot express their feelings very easily, so they often bottle up their emotions until they blow up at very small things. They will slam doors and cry, scream and throw temper tantrums. Virgos keep so much inside, and when they do boil over it can be quite awkward for the people they are around, for no one will know what to do about the uncharacteristic outburst.
When sad, a Virgo tends to isolate themselves.
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They develop compulsions, cleaning and washing their hands obsessively in order to get out of their mind and mask their emotions in work. If you want to make a Virgo the happiest person, make sure you take the time to let them know that you understand them. Nothing makes them feel more appreciated than that. At their best, a Virgo is skilled in so many areas.
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They have an eye for beauty that inspires a lot within them, and their protective nature is very nurturing for those who are lucky enough to experience it. A Virgo will always strive to do the best possible job for others, and cares so deeply about being thoughtful and inclusive. At times, Virgos can be hard to get to know. They are so scared of being rejected and misunderstood that they close themselves off and hide behind their shy nature.
When they open up, however, they can be suffocating and over-protective. In smaller friend groups, Virgos can succumb to gossip.
Virgos hate chaos. They genuinely fear it. They like being on time, and they like order. When things are not efficient and orderly, a Virgo is terrified.
Known for their perfectionism, Virgos are very detail oriented employees. They are very good with their memory, and they are great problem solvers and abstract thinkers. They also tend to be very tidy and neat. Service jobs are the best for Virgos, because they go above and beyond and often do really well for themselves if tips are involved.
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